Yes, This Is Real Life Part 7: Dealing With Dragons

 

View from the DOH-CMB flight

It's the turn-around point!  But first, the story so far:

Yes, This Is Real Life - Preview

Yes, This Is Real Life Part 1 - Location, Location, Location

Yes, This Is Real Life Part 2 - Brits in Beantown

Yes, This Is Real Life Part 3 - Shades On, Wheels Up

Yes, This Is Real Life Part 4 - Welcome To Ghostport

Yes, This Is Real Life Part 5 - When You Layover During Ramadan...

Yes, This Is Real Life Part 6 - Birds In Doha

Welcome to Columbo, for the second time.  Last time I passed through here, I dealt with the trials of getting onward tickets from Sri Lankan for Qatar, and the entirely underwhelming absorptive properties of the towels in the shower at the UL (Sri Lankan airways) lounge.

This time, I had vague plans of actually leaving the airport.  There were a few attractions nearby, and while the CMB airport falls into the 'it's fine' category, it's not an epic lounge destination like HKG.  However, as I went on about previously, mileage runs are trips where you react in the moment to what simply sounds the best.  In this case, what sounded the best....was a nap.  So, we took a nap.

CMB Airport

 As it so happens, CMB is a great place for this because there's a small transit hotel right in the airport that doesn't require clearing immigration to get to.  This was even better, because another large factor in our staying airside was that they wanted someplace around $40 a person for a visa on arrival.  While that's not really all that much in context, it starts to feel obnoxious when there's two of you, and you only really have about 5 hours on the ground to start with.

The transit hotel hallway.  Nothing fancy, but perfect for a nap.

The day rate at the hotel was less than the visa price (bless cheap SE Asia), so we split a room for a shower and a solid couple hours of downtime.  To get there, head toward the exit, past the transit desk and shrine in the center of the terminals, and follow signs to the Hotel.  The rooms aren't anything fancy, but they're clean (enough) and quiet.  The timing couldn't be better for trying to stay away from heavy jetlag, since for 'us' it was still the middle of the night. 



This way...

Feeling better, we did of course go for a little lounge time before our outbound flights.  Here's where some shenanigans started up again.  Now, here's an (exceedingly) rare moment where I'll have to admit I was in the wrong.  I know it's impossible to believe, but stick with me.

The Oneworld rules for lounge access state that a OW Emerald, such as myself, gets 1st class lounge access "when the next onward flight is on a Oneworld owned and operated flight."  The same rule applies to guests.  They don't have to be on your same Oneworld flight, just a Oneworld flight.

There are actually a couple lounges up by the transit hotel, including the Emirates and a small Sri Lankan.  The bigger, better, Sri Lankan lounge is in the main terminal though.

Unfortunately this time, my travel companion and I were preparing to go separate ways after flying together up to this point.  I was headed back to Doha on Qatar, and he was flying back to the US by way of Dubai on an Emirates award ticket.  What this resulted in was us each having good lounge access, just to different lounges, and neither of us could rightly guest the other in.  This is not to say we didn't try at both places.... but it didn't work out.  I was hoping that given that the UL lounge was empty, and he did have his Oneworld card on him, we might slide by.  However, the lounge dragons, after some chatter amongst themselves, thought otherwise. 

As I said, I knew I was in the wrong here going in, so there was no point in protesting.  We said our goodbyes, and each spent a few minutes in our respective lounges before going to our gates. 

Bar at the Sri Lankan lounge.  I like the "airplane" motif.

My time at the lounge was, I'll admit, true to form for my jetlagged-delirious self at this point.  I was nearly the only one there, and there were few staff of any kind.  In a matter of about 30 minutes I managed to spill cylon tea on myself, raid the bar fridge and open my own bottle of champagne, and on account of not reading Tamil well, blow right past the sign that said the buffet was temporarily closed while they changed from lunch to dinner dishes, and help myself to the food, distributing my own serving utensils as I went.  Not super proud, but no regrets either.  Really, they should have let my buddy in as I clearly needed adult supervision.

Yeah.... I went there.

 

I ate whatever this was, even though they weren't serving yet.

After all of that, I said goodbye to Colombo and got back on my next Qatar flight. As was becoming the theme of this amazing weekend, I was once again nearly alone on my flight.  The plane was a 777-200, which Qatar has business class laid out in a 2-2-2 configuration.  On this one I had the entire row of 6 seats behind the bulkhead to MYSELF.  Basically a whole mini business class cabin.  Unreal.

Miiiiiine, all mine...

So I flew out alone, right back to another sleepless night in Doha....

~CruisingAltitude

Up next- A Place Most Exceedingly Rare: My triumphant return to Doha (again), thoughts you didn't ask for about IFE, and a primer on Qatar transit visas.

Mileage Run Preview: Yes, this is real life.

"Double window addiction"

First off- I finished writing up my Havana trip!!  Final post with all the other links in it here!

Okay, so, I figure at this point that of the people who are reading this blog still at this point, 95% of them have classified me as certifiably crazy, 3% are other mileage runners I've met along the way, and 2% are my Mom and Mrs. CruisingAltitude, although at this point I have good intel...the BEST intel...that they don't even read most of it. 

However, I'm of the opinion that my next mileage run is totally something the average person would entirely enjoy.  It's fully understandable to fly in and out of Doha 3 times in 4 days, right? Right.

Here's how this came about- As you probably didn't read (mostly because it was a whopper of a mileage run, and I haven't finished posting it yet) in February, some brave souls and I flew entirely around the world in 80 hours.  The main flight that got us there was from Columbo, Sri Lanka to Boston via Doha.  It was a round trip booking, but that trip only used half of it, so I have the return flight to take in about a week. This, of course, leaves me 'stranded' in Columbo.  So, what's a mileage runner to do?

Well, go to Cairo, of course.  Okay, sure, Cairo isn't exactly on the way back from Columbo to Los Angeles, but hear me out. Remember when the Egyptian pound got un-pegged and took a tumble last year?  No?  Well, it did.  This suddenly made tickets that booked in that currency 'cheap.'  This is one of the strange hidden benefits of booking tickets that start around the world if you get lucky.  So, I found a very cheap one-way business class ticket from CAI to Houston through Doha on Qatar and booked it.  You have to admit that though Cairo isn't exactly 'on the way' from Sri Lanka, it is at least closer than many other places are.  So, I figured that one way or another I could connect those flights.  It's a doable, but fairly expensive mileage flight since Sri Lanka is considered 'Inidian Subcontinient' and Cairo is considered "Africa" for purposes of Oneworld partner awards, but it was an option. 

Then, as it turns out, the Sri Lankan Rupee wasn't having a great time (I assumed) and Qatar has a lot of capacity and competition from Sri Lankan, which is also a Oneworld partner, out of CMB this year.  What this resulted in was another cheap one-way ticket find a few months later for a business class itinerary from CMB to Cairo through Doha, also on Qatar.

So..... that gets me to and from Columbo with just the need for a couple domestic positioning flights- one to Boston to start it, and one back from Houston to finish it.  Since I have to be in Houston that month for work anyway, the latter takes care of itself this time around.

If you didn't bother to sort out all that nonsense, I can encapsulate it this way- I'm spending the weekend flying around the Middle East and India in business class, spending each night in Doha.  I'm going to have between 8 and 15 hours on the ground inn Doha each night, and about 7 hours in Columbo to actually leave the airport and see a few things.

All in all, it's made up of 5 different itineraries, 9 flights, 7 airports, and only two airlines - American and Qatar.  Should be fun...

"The Pearl" Qatar

So..

Now...

Wait for it....

.....Keep waiting

Okay....yes, what follows is real life.....


Imagine at this point in reading (or as I did, writing) this post you took a break to get on a flight, wait out said flight's delay, fly to Houston, land at 2am, get luggage, Uber to a hotel and pass out for the night.  Then imagine you wake the next morning to an inundation of texts/emails/news alerts blaring that Qatari planes are being banned from one airspace after another indefinitely.  First are Saudis, then the UAE, and next ...of course.... is Egypt.....followed by the Maldives, Mauritius, part of Syria...the list continues...

Well.  This sucks.

Update to now, and it's been a strange week.  I'm currently in the middle of an unrelated work trip, and have had to spend every break trying to call Qatar to get some kind of help with this situation.  I have called the US number probably 20 times, sat on hold for hours, finally broke down and started trying to call their worldwide offices - London, Sydney, you name it.  I even filled out a 'call back' form days ago.  They called me back too late, and the call was actually coming from Doha, so I probably paid a few bucks to tell them so.

I finally, finally, managed to get someone on the phone late yesterday and they hung up on me once they saw my travel plans.  I ....think....it was unintentional.  I eventually got past the point of annoyance and just moved on to disbelief.  The specter of flying to Sri Lanka without knowing how exactly I was getting home, even for me is a little much.  Just a little.

After another hour of hold time, I got someone else on the phone and tried to explain myself.  It was a long explanation.  Fixing one itinerary in this mess is a lot, fixing two when they include a tight turn around in a city they can't fly to is something else entirely.  

I have to give credit where it's due though.  It took over an hour of work, but the agent eventually got it done, though not without putting me on short holds to (I assume) control herself since something about my travel plans she found particularly hilarious.  I can't imagine why.  At one point I think I heard her coworkers in the background, also laughing at me.  The words "why wouldn't you just go direct" came up more than once.  I can only imagine the scene at a call center someplace.  I feel reasonably famous.  

But nevertheless she persisted, and re-routed me on a turnaround to Amman, Jordan instead of my Cairo flights.  I'll take it. We're friends now, and apparently I 'made her day.'  That's really all I'm after with this anyway.

So, where does that all leave us?  Well it currently leaves me sitting in the Houston Centurion lounge having a latte and writing about it.  Next up is a quick hop IAH-CLT-BOS to get this thing started.  Everything's cleared for the upgrades, and it looks like a good day to fly!

Wish me luck,

~CruisingAltitude

Read Up Next- Location, Location

Around the World in 80 Hours Part 7: At Least It's Not Jakarta

This is better.  Go here instead, brave Oneworld traveler.

Mileage Run Preview: Best Worst Decisions

 

Around the World in 80 Hours Part 1: In The Clear!

 

Around the World in 80 Hours Parts 2 and 3: Over the Ocean, and Past the Arctic....

 

Around the World in 80 Hours Part 4: Hello Hong Kong, My Old Friend

 

Around the World in 80 Hours Part 5: Lounging Like There's No Tomorrow (Because Tomorrow Was Yesterday)

 

Around the World in 80 Hours Part 6: A Day & Night In KL, or, All I Want For Breakfast Is Everything

 

Now, I don't want to come off as being to critical of Jakarta.  I'm sure it has some lovely places and inspiring things to do.  However, it's airport is not one of these places, nor does it contain any of these things.  Over my mileage running career, if you can call the aggregate of all this insanity that, I've nevertheless spent a good amount of time in and around the Jakarta airport, and wishing I was elsewhere. 

After several notoriously bad layovers, some of which even included having our passports taken from us with little explanation, and returned an hour later...still without our onwards boarding passes we'd been asking for, and yet others involving all-nighters at airport restaurants with questionable hygiene, the phrase 'at least it's not Jakarta' has come in quite handy when discussing various, less than ideal, airports and destinations. 

But, I'm getting ahead of myself here.  We arrived in Columbo on our Malaysia Air flight around midnight local time and found ourselves in a packed terminal.  This was likely a result of the fact that the airport's runways are undergoing massive renovation, and so all flights have been moved to the overnight while the work takes place in the daytime. 

To get our next boarding passes for our Qatar flight, we went to the Sri Lankan transfer desk so we didn't have to exit customs.  It might not seem like they can do this for you, but they can, it will just take some time.  It will also take some aggressive line-guarding, since the custom of waiting your turn is a little hazy in this part of the world.  May the odds be ever in your favor.

Though it's not Jakarta, Columbo is nevertheless one of those airports where a huge range of people come together, and the amenities and technology lag behind.  It has it's fair share of confused regional travelers, backpackers sleeping in the hallways, and the like.  What it does have going for it though is that it's a home airport of a Oneworld member, Sri Lankan, and as such offers a decent lounge option, if you know where to find it. 

The caveat here is that they'll try to send you to the "Amalya" lounge, which is a fairly minimal, crowed space.  The Sri Lankan branded lounge is much , much better.  To find this lounge, from the transfer desk, bear left, and pass the various duty free and tea merchants, then look for wooden doors guarded by a couple of lions.  Easy.

Rawr!  In Colombo they have lions guarding their lounges, instead of 'dragons'.

We spent a couple hours re-couping and waiting out the layover before boarding our much anticipated business class flight on Qatar to Doha.  I did attempt a shower even, and learned I probably should just have waited to do so until we reached Doha.  The staff was very nice, but the shower room lacked amenities and I was just provided one thin towel, and no hair dryer.  Suffice to say, I emerged looking much like a drowned rat with jetlag.  Once again, no one said circling the world in 4 days was going to be all glamour and five star service.

 

While I slowly dried out, I had a cup of Sri Lankan tea, which was fantastic.  Soon enough, we headed onto our next flight.  This was a milestone of sorts because it was the first segment actually of the ticket that started this whole thing.  Arguably, it's the cornerstone and main event of the weekend.  The first flight was from Colombo to Doha, a 'quick' four hours or so in flight. 

 

Quick cup of Sri Lankan Tea

We found our gate and were sent to a separate part of the gate for business class passengers.  CMB is one of the airports in the region that does security at the entrance to each individual gate, so be prepared for a few additional minutes between the lounge and the plane.

 

As we all know, however, premium class doesn't necessarily mean premium behavior. I spent the last 20 or so minutes before boarding sitting on a bench next to a guy face-timing his girlfriend who he had clearly woken up in the middle of the night in order to loudly talk to her about nothing of any real consequence, and repeatedly pronouncing Doha "Doo-HA!"  As travel companions go, I'd rather have been in the departures are of This Flight. Where's 80 falcons when you need them??

 

QR 777-300 Business Class Cabin

It should be no surprise then that finally boarding this flight was heavenly.  You can say what you will about Qatar as a place or middle eastern airlines generally, but when you're tired, it's 3:30 am local time, you had a shower with insufficient towel-age, and have spent what seems like an eternity hearing the airport's local frat boy yell about Doo-HA, walking to your gigantic business class seat and being greeted with truly 5-star individual service that begins with a hot towel and fresh mint lemon juice ranks in the top 5 airline moments for me, at least.  It's an exciting enough thing to force the creation of possibly this blog's longest run-on sentence to date, even.

 

Welcome beverage

Even though it was a fairly full flight, the attendants managed a courteous and detailed service from the time we stepped onboard until we walked off the jetbridge in Doha.  They even offer dine on demand service in this four hour flight.  I had the curry and a glass of (real) Champagne, and it was the best thing I've had on a plane.  Shortly thereafter I kicked back for a nap and managed to shrug off the lingering jetlag haze that had been following me since Hong Kong.

 

Ahhhhhhh!!!!  Yas.

In conclusion- all's well that ends with a seat up front.

 

Up next- Doha and the long road home.

 

~CruisingAltitude